Faith tells my heart


I use to scream and cry “it is time for you to come HOME now, you have been gone way too long !”. Grief, denial, pain so unbearable for a mother’s heart or mind to comprehend. The reality is you are home … I am the one who is not. Faith tells my heart we WILL be reunited the second my work here on earth is through. I will hold you in my arms once again and never have to let go. My sweet boy.

Can you feel it ?

370680d0b1ca9556c537731ffb8e1647Can you feel it ? His love calling you home !. I fall to my knees as my heart is overcome with his amazing, never failing, never ending perfect love. No matter how far we may fall he calls his children home with arms wide open. Can you feel it ? He is always with you, always! You are his favorite masterpiece.

Lay it down

hqdefaultDark memories of a long ago past. Snap shots of violence and dark spaces. All would be better fortotten. Tears and fear they follow me. I was so young, where was the love?

Thirty years down the road and I am still haunted. There are rooms in my memory I am terrified to enter. The emotional wounds keep bleeding open.

Heavenly father, please guide me through the uncertainty.
Show me what is it
you want me to know.
They will be done.

Then speeding by my minds eye
Like old movie clips.
The once living nightmares,
I had hidden so deep.

True to his promises our savior whent before me. He made the cooked path straight. As a loving father he watched over me, never leaving nor forsaking me.

When the tears stoped and I rembered to take a breath. In the stillness came five simple words ‘Lay it at my feet’.

Lay down all the fear, pain and tears.
Lay down all the shame, anger and betrayal.

Replace the lies with the truth.

Pick up
peace, forgiveness and hope.
Pick up
Grace, courage and love.

At the cross

A Childs Laughter

Almost three years ago I visited a small family owned garden nursery, one my chirldern and I had visited often. On this visit unlike the ones before my arms were empty. There was no little boy needing me to hold him. Somewhere in the distance there came this heavenly sound. It was high pitch yet soft and tender all at the same time. It reminded my heart of a child’s laughter. I followed this sound all throughout the winding garden. The end of the trail had lead me to a small, red wind chime.

Fast foward to tonight. All three of my precious little girls were sound asleep as I peeked in on them one last time for the night. There lying on my youngest bedroom floor was my son’s favorit teddy bear. I picked it up … but insted of putting it away I heald on to it. I could feel every drop of strength I had fall away. There in the dark room I bent down to pray. Words stuck like velcro on my tong. 1 Peter 5:7 flooding my heart over and over again ! (‘Cast all your cares upon Him for He cares for you.’ 1 Peter 5:7).

I don’t even know how long I was on the floor. I stood up and gazed upon the stars to say thank you one more time and there it was ! In the dead of night coming from a small red wind chime hanging on my frount porch was the precious sound of a child’s laughter.


His grace is abounand over sin

(Romans 5)

Mothers day is approching… there is this unspeekable pain when you have a child in your heart but you can not hold them in your arms. I am thankful that in my reading the lord had me stop and digest these words for  the past three days.

Romans 5… While we were deep in sin he loved us !. He so lovenly gave us a gift to cover all the ugly. A gift of grace.

How sweet the sound !

Romans 5:1-21      (NKJV)                                                                                                                                     1. Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  2. through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in whice we stand, and rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perserverance; and character, hope.  5. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

6. For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7. for scarcely for a rigteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9. Much more than, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. 10. For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God throuh the death of His Son, so much more having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11. And not only that, but we also rejoice in God throgh our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now recieved the reconciliation.

12. Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the would, and death throuh sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned- 13. (For until the law sin was in the world, but sin is not imputed when there is no law. 14. Necertheless death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those who had not sinned according to the likeness of the transgression of Adam, who is a type of HIm who was to come. 15. But the free gift is not like the offense. For it by the one man’s grace of God and the gift by the grace of the one Man, Jesus Christ abounded to many. 16. And the gift is not like that which come throuh the one who sinned. For the judgement which came form the offense resulted in condemnation, but the free gift which came from many offenses resulted in jusification. 17. For if by the one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who received abudance of grace and of the gift of rightousness will reign in life throuh the One Jesus Christ.) 18. Therefoe, as through the one man’s offense judgement came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man’s righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in justification of life. 19. For as by one man’s disobedience many were made sinner, so also by one Man’s obedience many will be made righteous. 20. Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more. 21. So that as sin reigned in death, even so in grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.